Thursday, July 14, 2011

The Dream Sequence - Whether the pressures of the monarchy or a bad batch of snails, His Majesty experienced the most astounding dream of his lordly life the other day. He dreamed he was overseeing a small village in eastern Europe. A band of futuristic wanderers had made their way into the community which was in the throes of conflict with a new and very evil neighbor, the vampire Vlad Ardo. Our intrepid adventurers managed to decipher enough of the local lingo to determine that since the arrival of the notorious neck-nibbler the town had lost no less than four of it's fairest beauties and every male in the neighborhood was scrambling to tie down his daughters (and wives) from the wiles of this lethal lothario.

This was no ordinary collection of odd-speaking sight-seers. this was in fact none other than those world famous American adventurers, the Nekked twins, Buck and Stark. Todether with their faithful body guard Ernie McBride, their paramour the prim Penelope Primm, and that junk science genius doctor Timothy F. Geithner, PhD. Together thay have been traveling the world in search of justice that needs doing, wrongs that need righting, and evil that needs..... em............... to be fixed.

The team of Buck Nekked and Ernie McBride

The team of Penelope Primm and Timothy FGeithner, PhD

Stark Nekked and his intrepid band of terrified locals

At the outset, Buck and Ernie set out to scout the eastern edge of the village and possibly get the jump on the monster. No sooner had they progressed a hundred years from their conveyance, the Nekkedmobile, than they spotted a terrifying toothy grin rolling out of the mist. "Well shuckie-gee," exclaimed Buck, who nonetheless raised his rifle and fired. The bullet struck the vamp square between the eyes, and immediately placed him (it?) in critical condition. Vlad managed to recover enough to continue even though a second shot on the next turn laid him low yet again. Fortunately for the creature, his newly acquired brides arrived just in time to draw off the gunfire. Vlad immediately took the low road around several buildings and out of the action altogether. The Vladettes stormed into the village and almost immediately overwhelmed Ernie who succumbed to his wounds in short order. Buck attempted to withdraw to their conveyance, currently occupied only by Timothy F. Geithner, PhD who had immediately jumped into the front seat and locked the doors when the gunfire started. Buck managed to get within several yards of the prim Penelope Primm when he was overwealmed by vampettes and died in a hail of teeth.

The prim Penelope Primm, after a brief chorus of "You'll Never Walk Alone," tore into one or two of the brides in one of the most legendary cat fights in wargames history. Timothy F. Geithner, PhD remained content to cheer her on, however the dastardly Vlad Ardo had managed to steal his way up to the vehicle and use his considerable psychic powers to force the junk scientist out of the jitney. Never underestimate the resiliance of a life-long coward however, and the pusillanimous PhD dove out the other side of the truck and high-tailed it for the bridge and the safety of Stark and the constabulary.

The end of Buck and Ernie, the cat fight and the vamp tries to hypnotize the doc.

The doctor never made it across the bridge. Badly wounding a vampire early in a wargame leaves the monster without a sense of humor, and terrible things happened to the scientist before his passing. At the same time, two of the brides leaped the river and made short work of the constabulary, while Stark succumb to a barrage of slashing claws and flying dentures. When the dust had settled, the only one left standing was the prim Penelope Primm (don't it figure!), who straitened her frock, climbed into the truck and drove away.

This was a great little game using the Chaos In Carpathia rules again. A highly recommended rules system that has been very user friendly but with plenty of opportunity for the addition of the bells and whistles that color up the game. I apologize for the whole dream sequence thing, but I simply couldn't rationalize another way to incorporate a 30's era pulp adventure into a 18th century blog site. Will do better next time, I promise.