A Retraction Demanded - His Majesty de St. Maurice has, in the past, been willing to accept the frequent diatribes of that primer of modern literary journalism, The Ardoberg Inquirer. One reading of this incipient rag, with it's articles often written in crayon and paint-by-numbers illustrations, is usually enough to relegate such writings to the bottom of the bird cage as it was designed. The current edition, however, is more than even a benevolent soul such as His Majesty can sustain.
To suggest that a simple cooperative military exercise between two such staunch and lasting friends as the St. Maurician monarchy and the Ducky of Ardoberg and Holstein might in fact be a successful invasion attempt is simply outrageous. An inquiry into the history of such invasions in the past will show just how absurd this declaration might be. No previous military incursion into our happy little kingdom has succeeded past the first outbreak of French cuisine on German digestive tracts, at which point the Ardobergers make tracks for the first tutonic privy.

In an unrelated story; the sale of filthy French postcards in the province of Cezanne over the past week. Store owners are unable to explain the increase in demand.